The Lighter
She wasn't his girlfriend. Leonard had wanted her to be, but she had refused him. Refused him in the, in his eyes vain, hope that she would meet someone better. However, they went out a lot together and it were these days which would confuse him most. He had the idea that she acted jealously if he said he would make a pass at someone. She did so the other day. He told her he liked the waitress and she started acting strange.
"Edith, do you want to order anything?"
"No, thanks. I don't fancy anything right now."
"Would you like to order a dessert?"
"I would like a cup of cappuccino, please."
"Thank you. Here's your receipt"
"Thank you."
The cup arrived and he thanked the waitress. Edith grabbed hold of the cup and saucer right after he had poured the sugar in it. She began to stir vigorously.
"Why are you stirring so violently? You're spoiling my chances here with the waitress."
He took hold of the cup again. Most of the coffee was now stuck to the sides of the cup instead of being in it. She took a napkin and wiped most of the dried-up liquid off the outsides of the cup. Then she put the napkin on the saucer.
"She's really gonna like that. Why do you do these things?"
"Maybe I'm just jealous."
He rolled the dirty napkin in a clean one and put the roll beside the saucer.
"You're weird."
"...Said the pot to the kettle."
"It's the last time I take you into a restaurant."
"I think it's more of a fast food-chain."
"It doesn't matter. You're focused on spoiling my chances."
"Like I said, maybe I'm just jealous."
"I don't think so."
"Well, how would you feel if you went out with someone and she would start making passes at all the blokes."
"I wasn't making a pass at her."
"You're missing the point. What I mean to say is that I'm not a bag of salt who just happens to sit opposite you."
"We're not exactly boyfriend-girlfriend, are we?"
"Most people here will think we are. You're spoiling my chances just by sitting here."
"Yes, but that works both ways. I'm not deliberately spoiling your chances."
"What time were we supposed to meet the others?"
"Nine. What time is it now?"
"Not even seven. Let's go somewhere else. MacDonalds."
"So as to be certain we won't run into some good looking people."
They paid and walked to MacDonalds. She ordered a Sundae ice cream. So did he. They sat there for another hour and then decided to take the bus to the place where they would meet up with the others. After a lengthy bus ride they discovered no one was there. It had been past nine then and so they went inside the place they had wanted to go to, the Students Union. Once inside they found out there was no one they knew in there as well. She ordered a vodka and orange. He ordered a double whiskey and ice. They sat down and he took out his lighter.
"Let me show you something. I'm gonna put this on the table and all the girls will beg me for a light."
He had said it jokingly, but a few minutes after he had put the lighter on the table a girl came up to him to ask for a light. He gave it her. A light, that is.
"See? I told you. It's the second-best bet for getting attention from the so-called opposite sex."
"That was just coincidence. I bet it won't work another time."
"It will, believe me."
After a second girl had asked for a light the people they would have met outside came in. They had been delayed. While they were ordering a drink Edith snatched the lighter and put it in front of her. A bloke came up to her and asked for a light. Astonished she looked at Leonard who picked up the lighter and gave him a light.
"You also have to give him a light. Not just put it on the table. Now please, let me."
He placed the lighter in front of him again. A third girl came up to asked for a light and the three other people at the table, two of whom I should really introduce now, looked in amazement how the girl held his hand in the pretext of directing the lighter in the right direction. Leonard beamed at Edith whose eyes failed to hide what her face tried to conceal under a smile. The other two, whose names were Andrew and Joan and who actually were a couple, were still laughing from what had happened.
"That's three to one now." Leonard stated.
"I'm amazed!" Joan said astonished.
The conversation went on and another four girls came up to Leonard to ask for a light. He gladly replied while Edith was continually trying to take his lighter.
"Why do you keep stealing my lighter?"
"Why don't want me to have it?"
"Because I'm as jealous as you are."
"It's unfair."
"Get your own lighter. It's worth it."
At the end of the evening they stood up and walked out. Leonard was feeling a bit angry at himself for not being able to say something sensible each time he gave someone a light. On the other hand, though, he felt quite good about the whole experience. The four of them took a cab home. Edith didn't live with Andrew, Joan and Leonard, but it would have been too expensive for her to get a cab on her own. It was therefore decided she should spend the night at their house.
The firemen couldn't save the house, nor most of it's inhabitants. Only Edith survived.
"How did the fire get started?" one of the firemen asked.
"I think it was a burning cigarette." said Edith, who was fully clothed.
She was never found out.