ENEMIES
I am not mad. I am not weird or strange or funny. I am tragic. It's nothing to laugh at. If you laugh you are simple and stupid and naive and I don't want to have anything to do with you. I stopped associating with people like you long ago and since you're the majority of all people, all people stopped understanding me. I appeal only to those with intellect. Those with brains and knowledge and experience. People unlike you. People who do understand who and what I am and see what I am and who I am and accept it.
I don't want anyone's pity. That's not why I'm saying this. I'm saying this because I want to say this so you might stop laughing and start thinking. Although I'm not sure if you have a brain to speak of. It's not a recent development. I've always hated people like you, but it's only now that that hate has taken a physical form and it's only now that I'm becoming negatively influenced by these ideas that most people don't understand me and it's only now that I voice my grievings.
You have no idea how jealous I am of you. I would give everything to be as stupid and naive as you are. To laugh at people I don't understand. Like you I'd probably never stop laughing. Oh, what fun we would have. The thought alone now gives me a strange feeling in my stomach and the thought alone would make me want to be able to puke on command.
Now, I can see that you are angry. Stupid people anger easily. Anger for you springs from not understanding what someone says and the feeling you've been made fun of. I'm not making fun of you. If you have this feeling there is something seriously wrong with your self-image. You know you're stupid and you want to defend your stupidity but you don't have the means to. You're too stupid. I'll say it again. You're too stupid to understand me and that angers you. You're thinking that I'm doing this on purpose. That I talk over your head just to make me seem weird and you seem stupid. That is not so. I talk over your head because stooping down hurts too much. I can't talk on your level anymore and you've never been able to talk on my level. No-one I know is in my tree. I mean it must be high or low. That is you know you can't tune in, but it's alright. That is I think it's not too bad. For you at least. You have most of the world in your tree. The Stupid Tree. The Idiot Tree.
Oh, yes, I know you make friends easily and I know you have a great time always. You know how to have a great time, I don't doubt that. Stupid people stand in awe of everything. Stupid people like everything but smart people. People that make you feel stupid. They force you to see what you really are and you don't want that. You want to be who your stupid friends think you are. A mate. Oh, you're having such a great time and still you're afraid of me. You're afraid of what I'm going to say and because of that you try to ridicule me but yo fail because you're still stupid and I'm still intelligent.
So you want to be my enemy? Sorry, but I choose my enemies a lot more carefully than that. No, you're not my enemy. Just like the lamb is not the lion's enemy. There's no match. It leads to nothing at all. You will still think I'm strange and you will still be stupid and nothing can change that. You still don't understand me and you think that I want you to die. I don't want you to die. I want you to de-exist. To stop being at all. To never have existed in the first place. I want your parents to be non-existent so they can never have you and make you. I also want their parents to be non-existent. As a matter of fact. I think your whole bloodline should be made extinct right now. On the spot.
Oh, please, stop trying to use my own words against me. It only makes you look more stupid because you don't understand what you're repeating. You're like a parrot. You speak the language, but you haven't got a clue as to what the words mean. So stop it. Don't try to say something that can hurt me. I know you will fail and you know it too and it makes you angry again and you want to hit me because you have no other way to express your feelings. I want to hit you too, but I won't. I don't have to because I have words that work for me. They hurt a lot more and a lot longer. You forget your fights and you forget the pain but you won't forget the words and they hurt you over and over again.
Yes, I'm cruel towards you and I'm doing it on purpose. I want to see you cry. I want you to feel uncomfortable for the rest of your life. Maybe you'll forget it on certain occasions but soon enough it will come back to you again and you'll feel uncomfortbale again. That's why I'm doing this. I want you to feel physically sick. To make you puke when you remember what I've said to you. You're still laughing now, but it becomes increasingly harder to keep your stupid facade up. You feel miserable already and you haven't even finished your pint yet. Go to that toilet and throw up over and over again. Throw up every time something reminds you of me.
It's not so that I want you to commit suicide. I've already said that I don't want you to die and that I want you to become non-existent. But until that time I want you to suffer. I want you to be in perpetual pain. Every minute of every hour of every day. Day and night. I want you to become so fucked up that you can't do anything anymore. And then, after forty or more years, I want you to die of a horrible disease wich slowly eats at you and kills you ever so painfully. I want you to die in agony. I want you to die alone and screaming in the streets where nobody pays attention to you.